My boss' voice literally gives me gas
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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