How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
