i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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