just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize