i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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