Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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