Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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