He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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