Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
