I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
