Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
