I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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