I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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