Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
