Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
