love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
