I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize