You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
