if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
