they need to just BURY HIM!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
