why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
