Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
