Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
