why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
