Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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