My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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