After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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