He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
