Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
