I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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