I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
