is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
