I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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