that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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