you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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