its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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