I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
