Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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