So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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