She is in my trunk
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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