so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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