This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
