my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Randomize
