I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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