the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
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