do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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