Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
