You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize