where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
