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so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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