My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i came on her dog
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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