I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
