Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
