we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
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