God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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