Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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