My first STD was from a foam party
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
