You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
